I belong to an online group of Christian divorced folks. None of us expected to belong to such a group, but here we are. The main goal is for encouragement as we all struggle with the various pains we’re going through.
I don’t recall how I found this group or if they found me. I also don’t remember asking to be a moderator for this group but I am.
One of the new members asked an interesting question that’s on everybody’s mind. Is it okay to remarry after being divorced?
I began my reply with the statement “this is a touchy subject that needs to be addressed.”
Sure enough this hot button brought a legalist into the comments telling us we’re going to hell if we remarry. I did my best to give grace its place at the table, but it didn’t last. We now have one less member of the group.
My ex wife moved out August 8, 2012. I promised her I’d save her seat next to me in church each week. That chair is still empty. I’ll keep that seat available for Barb until God directs me to someone else. I’m ready to move on but I’m not in a rush.
I’m looking for a particular woman to spend the rest of my life with. No, I didn’t say peculiar even though that’s likely the only type of person who’ll be able to put up with me for any length of time.
I have a list of qualifications I’m searching for. I’m open to whomever God wants for me even if none of my requirements are met.
The first thing I’m looking for is a woman who doesn’t want to be married.
Yes, I know that’s completely counter-intuitive, but when you spend practically your whole life with your best friend being Jesus Christ you tend to think that way.
I want a woman so sold out to serving God with her life that she thinks a man will get in the way of her relationship with Him.
The reason I want this is because I’m at that level of commitment with God in my life. I prefer to remain single than to partner with someone who will take me away from God’s work for me.
That’s equal yoking in a nut shell.
They discovered an interesting thing at horse pulling competitions. Let’s say they have two horses that each pulled 1,000 pounds individually. You’d think when they put those two together they’d pull 2,000 pounds. That’s not what happens. They actually pull 3,000 pounds. Something inside them digs deeper when they help another horse do the same thing.
That’s what I expect with a like-minded committed Christian by my side. That’s who I want to spend the rest of my life with.
The second thing I’m looking for in a life partner is a woman who is quick and easy…now don’t let your depraved mind go where I don’t intend it to go. Pick your brain up out of the gutter and let me finish my sentence.
I want a woman who is quick and easy with two things: a smile and a laugh.
These gals are easy to find in a crowd because they’re too rare of a jewel in today’s society. Most of them are taken already, but I know of some and I’m sure there’s more.
With those two things going for her the third thing will likely fall into place. If she loves God and life she probably takes care of the temple of the Holy Spirit she’s been given.
I don’t expect a world-class athlete by any stretch of the imagination. But, I know from first-hand experience that when a person wants to be used by God for any possible thing they’ll keep their body as fit as they can to be able to do whatever He asks and/or needs to be done.
I also want a lady who doesn’t take herself too seriously, but she takes what she does for God very seriously. That’s another equal yoking item I strive to live out in my own life.
Let’s step back and recap here. I want a woman who loves the LORD our God with all her heart, soul, mind and strength…and loves her neighbor as herself. She has a positive attitude and has taken care of herself.
Ummm, that sums it all up for me.
Any highfalutin’ degree isn’t necessary, nor will it get in the way. Her bank account isn’t important to me, neither is her credit score. Her background isn’t as important as the direction her life is heading now.
If she can write music that will be a bonus since God is giving me songs to sing now. I have no clue how to tell anyone else what they sound like unless I sing it to them. I trust God knows what He’s doing there. I can’t even play an instrument.
I’ve probably blown it with one lady by the way I’ve conducted myself around her occasionally. I know God is the God of second chances but when a southern belle makes up her mind I’m not sure even God can get through to her. Yikes!
I’m ultimately praying for whoever God wants for me. She can be taller than me. Less beautiful than a supermodel. Those things can be overcome and/or overlooked. Stuff like that fades later in life anyway.
A heart of pure gold is the best trait I want.
Is that asking for too much?
I’ll see you later. Wade
I think Tony Evans gave the greatest advice, “God knows where your mate is!” So, the point is, get with God. Hang out with Him. He knows you and the other person intricately. If we leave it to Him, no more huge mistakes or hidden agendas. Sometimes even our own hidden agendas come out in relationship. That happened to me. So now I am spending time with Jesus and letting him work on what was broken in me and what led me to choose wrongly, step out of His timing and hurt someone else in the process. I now understand that a time of singleness is time for soul searching and growth in Christ. He is able and will let me know, and whoever else may need to know, when my time of singleness is finished. In the meantime, I suggest we listen to Paul when he said he wished that we would all remain single because it is easier to serve God without divided attention. Who of us doesnt know people who have been going along well in singleness and then fell into sin due to discontent that crept in? I encourage everyone to become happy in Jesus!
Great advice, Rhonda. That’s my goal for my life. Not my will but God’s will be done.