Okay. I admit it. I’m stuck in my life.
There. I said it. Now how do I change it?
My life is becoming a bit routine in some ways. Ways I don’t like. As Eddie Rabbit used to sing I’m driving my life away.
That’s not at all what I want to do with the rest of my time on this earth, but I seem to be caught on this spinning wheel that I can’t get off.
My usual conversation I have with myself while driving down yet another interstate goes something like this.
“I hate my life right now. I need to do something different or I’ll be doing this into my 80’s. I want to make a change.”
That’s when the intervention kicks in.
“No you don’t.”
“What do you mean I don’t want to make a change? I just said I want to do something different. How can you say I don’t want to?”
“You have all the systems available to you to make a change, but you haven’t set up anything so far.”
“But, I need time to do that. How can I set up anything when I’m stuck driving all the time? I can’t exactly work on my computer while I’m controlling an 18-wheeler down the road. I would if I could, but I can’t so I won’t so how can I do what you’re talking about?”
“There you go again, another excuse with no results.”
“If I could stop driving long enough to put one of the systems I’ve invested in in play I would, but I have bills to pay. My landlord doesn’t have much of a sense of humor when I don’t pay my rent on time.”
“So I guess you’re going to die behind the wheel of somebody’s 18-wheeler. Is that what you really want?”
“I already said I don’t want that, but…”
“No more excuses buddy.”
“But…I, um…okay, okay. Next time I have some sort of time I’ll see about plugging something in to bring in some money from another source other than driving. Maybe it will make a difference…I hope.”
I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve had that conversation with myself. Too many I’m afraid.
I think I know what at least part of my problem is. I’m too much of a visionary and not driven enough to excel or at least implement a new strategy in my life so far.
They say a person has to be able to see a different life to make a different life. I guess that’s the first step that I can’t get past.
I guess I feel like Peter after Jesus was resurrected but before the Holy Spirit came on him. He led a group of Jesus’ disciples back home to Galilee.
Once they came to the lake somebody asked Simon what he was going to do.
“I’m going fishing.”
It’s possible he meant he was going back to fishing fulltime. That’s what he had success with in the past. This fishing for men thing simply didn’t work out for him like he thought it would.
I know how to drive trucks. My work ethic makes dispatchers ask for me specifically to fill a void they have. I focus my efforts on that task when I’m there to fulfill Colossians 3:23 the best I can.
I never know when I’m going to have a day off. I can’t afford too many of those so I take pretty much every assignment that comes my way within reason.
Fortunately the Bible isn’t still being written so not everybody knows my ways I’ve denied Jesus in my life.
Then Jesus met Simon on the beach and encouraged him to continue on the road He set him on.
I don’t know about you but that gives me hope.
I don’t have to stay on the road I keep finding myself on. God has another path for me. I know He does.
It may not look like the one I envision. That’s okay. As long as it’s God’s will for me I’ll obey.
I’ll keep doing the best I can when I’m called upon to drive another load somewhere. That’s the season of life I’m in right now.
I don’t know when things will change for me but I know they will.
Please pray I redeem whatever time I have to implement needed changes.
And pray I stay on the road God wants me on.
Thank you.
I’ll see you later. Wade
