My Advice to Graduates

Since we’re in the graduation time of year I think I’ll take a stab at writing a commencement speech for fun.

So get as comfortable on that bleacher seat as you possibly can, shield your eyes from the sun and try not to sweat to the point of being too odorous to those around you as these nervous kids think this is the biggest moment of their lives. In reality, they don’t have a clue. Maybe I can help them out a bit..maybe not. We’ll see.

 

Dear graduates, today is a big event in your young lives. But, don’t worry about it too much. Bigger events still await you. Events that will truly impact your lives and the world at large. Take a moment to swallow very hard right now.

You feel like you’re at the verge of something tremendous at this moment. Don’t worry, your next meal will work it through your digestive system in time. This too shall pass.

When you realize that most of the decisions in your lives have been made for you up til now you will really swallow hard. Just don’t choke on any graduation cake in the process. That could get really messy.

My best advise to you is simple. Don’t take yourself too seriously. After all, nobody else will, so, why should you? Seriously, you’re going to make mistakes. It’s called being human. Everybody does it. That doesn’t mean it’s good, just popular. I hope you’ve figured out by now that the popular kids are the biggest bunch of losers out there.

Just be yourself. Nobody is better qualified for the position than you are. Don’t worry about anybody wanting to copy you. They’re too busy trying to figure out who they are to worry about you. They’ll be wondering what you’re thinking about them. Let the paranoia drive them insane. You just be you.

Put your best effort into each and every job you ever have, even if it’s flipping burgers. You never know if you might have to come back to that occupation instead of retiring when you want to like they have led you to believe the American dream works. If they develop a system that no longer involves people to do that job then you can work at a museum telling people how you got carpal tunnel syndrome at your first real job out of school. No, it’s not sexy, but it’ll pay some bills.

Be purposeful in who you spend your time with. They’ll rub off on you more than you know. If they’re a bunch of losers guess what you’ll become. Just remember what I said about the popular kids.

Be the person you want your children to become. If God blesses you with rug rats those little buggers will copy you like they don’t know who they are, yet. Give them the best example to model that you possibly can. Apologize to them often. Yeah, you’ll make plenty of mistakes there, too.

Be the dedicated spouse you want to spend your life with. That commitment is supposed to last that long. Be different enough to stick out the tough times. The good times will return, probably after those rug rats have graduated and left for college or the burger joint.

Be the employee you’d want working for you. Don’t kiss up to the boss. Nobody likes that, unless they were one of the popular kids. One day you may get promoted to the position of boss. Then you’ll wonder why those rug rats working under you never took this advice to heart. How do you think you got that promotion?

Above all else don’t be your own higher power. That position is already taken. Only God fills that role. He loves you so much He came down as a rug rat to give us an example to live by. His advice is even more convoluted than mine is.

He wants us to love our enemies to the point of praying for them and doing good things for them. What kind of world does He think we live in?

He expects us to treat other people the way we want to be treated. Where did He go to school?

He claimed to be the only way to get to heaven. How narrow-minded can anyone be?

He came back to life just like He said He would. How much more proof do you need as to who the highest power actually is?

The choice is completely up to you. You can claim there is no God and live life with your head in the sand, or, you can put off making any decision about Jesus until it’s too late, or, you can accept His claims and live life more abundantly.

That’s the only real multiple-choice question you need to answer with your heart. I pray you make the best choice because there’s only one real right answer that matters.

Guess who wasn’t very popular when He walked on this earth?

Keep smiling.   Wade